


Holosuite Dating Failures

by hibernate



Category: Star Trek: Deep Space Nine
Genre: F/F, Holodecks/Holosuites
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-11-10
Updated: 2013-11-10
Packaged: 2018-01-01 01:45:28
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,311
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1038867
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hibernate/pseuds/hibernate
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dax and Kira spend a lot of time in holosuites. The success rate varies.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Holosuite Dating Failures

1\. 

Stirring her tea, Dax's face seemed entirely unperturbed, as if this was her idea of small talk. 

Kira, realizing she might be staring, put her raktajino down on the table. "What did you say?" she asked, clinging to the vain hope that she might have somehow misheard.

"I'm sorry," Dax said, "is that a sensitive subject?"

"You just asked me about Bajoran _mating_ rituals."

"I was referring to the social aspects of your courtship rituals, not the physical." Dax lifted her cup to blow gently on her tea. "I'm already familiar with those."

Only Dax would look so innocent while pursuing a topic like this. Kira frowned. "Do I have to remind you that until recently, we were kind of too busy fighting Cardassians to worry about the social aspects of anything?"

"So no cheek biting or joined meditation?"

Gripping her cup tightly, Kira took a big, steadying gulp of her raktajino, and summoned all the patience she had. "Why do you want to know, exactly?"

Dax sipped her tea. "Oh, just idle curiosity."

 

2.

Kira enjoyed spending time with Dax, but she did have somewhat questionable preferences in how she chose to spend her off-hours. For instance, Kira would sooner spend a month on a Bajoran moon, eating nothing but palooku, than agree to play tongo, or any other game that involved a Ferengi deciding the rules. She also didn't quite grasp what was so special about Klingon blades.

Friendships never used to be like this, so full of inadequate explanations and... words. During the occupation, the friends Kira had were those she fought beside, and Dax wasn't like any of them. Dax may have the experiences of eight lifetimes, but they were eight lifetimes of being a pampered Trill. 

Sometimes Kira wanted nothing but to _shake_ her; sometimes she just wanted-- she wasn't even sure what.

All in all, being friends with Dax was complicated. Not the least because of Dax's preoccupation with dragging Kira along with her to 'enjoy' various recreational activities, all of which were a terrible waste of time.

"You know how I feel about the holosuites," Kira said, not even bothering to look up from her PADD.

"Yes," Dax replied evenly, "I think people on the other side of the Gamma Quadrant know how you feel about holosuites."

"They're a pointless waste of time."

"'Frivolous', don't forget that one."

"And what's the point of doing something that's not even _real_?"

"Now that we've got that out of the way," Dax said, giving Kira a wide, brilliant smile, "I know just the thing. How do you like the sound of anti-grav sailing?"

Kira had no idea what sailing in an 'anti-grav' way would even entail, but that didn't really matter. Crossing her arms, she gave Dax a stern look. "You're not going to talk me into trying any of your silly holosimulations."

Instantly, Dax face transformed into one of complete and utter innocence. "I wouldn't dream of it."

 

3.

The problem with spending time with Dax was twofold: 1) Dax had a planet-sized stubborn streak, and 2) she had an unfortunate ability to make things seem far more tempting than they had any right to be.

The Great Erg on New Mecca turned out to be a giant desert, and the sand-dunes were beautiful enough, Kira supposed, but as it turned out, it wasn't so much 'relaxing' -- Dax's words -- as it was mind-numbingly _boring_. 

Squirming in her seat, Kira glanced at Dax, who looked absolutely _riveted_. "Never knew you were such a big fan of holographic sand," Kira muttered.

"Hard to believe places as beautiful as this really exist, isn't it?"

"It's not real," Kira reminded her. "We're in a holosuite."

"Well, if we're ever passing by New Mecca, I'll make sure to take you on a real anti-grav sail. Though as I recall from the one time Curzon went there, the heat made it -- 'unbearable' is the word he liked to throw around. Some things are actually better in a temperature-controlled simulation."

"But that's just the problem," Kira said, sitting up straighter. "You've had the temperature adjusted, and who knows what other things have been changed in the name of comfort? It's not real."

Dax shrugged. "What's real or not is in the eye of the beholder."

"No, it's _not_ ," Kira said, gesturing emphatically with her hands, because she was not going to let Dax turn this into some sort of philosophical discussion. "What's real is _real_."

Regarding her calmly, Dax raised an eyebrow. "Anyone ever tell you that you're remarkably stubborn?"

"Not to my face," Kira snapped, crossing her arms. 

Dax started to laugh, and Kira shook her head, thrown by the speed with which Dax's moods changed. She hadn't intended her words to be funny, and she wasn't sure where exactly the joke lay.

"I really did think you'd appreciate the scenery," Dax told her, putting her hand on Kira's arm. "New Mecca is renowned for its beauty, and anti-grav sailing is generally considered to be _very_ romantic."

Kira glanced at the endless and decidedly unromantic sand around them. "Romance isn't exactly on my mind."

"That's a pity," Dax said. Looking up, Kira met Dax's eyes. In the bright New Meccan sunlight, they seemed very, very blue. 

"Don't think this means I give up," Dax continued. "Scenery may be out, but I've got plenty of other ideas."

That was exactly what Kira was afraid of.

 

4.

"I don't own a bathing suit," Kira said, quietly wondering just who would have bathing suits just lying around on a space station.

"Lucky for you," Dax replied, "the Hoobishan Baths don't require you to wear anything at all."

The bathing suit was not really the problem, though.

Dax lent her swimwear in orange and pink -- made for Trills, designed to show off spots and those lean, graceful limbs. Putting it on in the holographic changing room, Kira felt uncomfortable, exposed, and altogether like she did not belong.

She didn't feel one way or another about her own body; it was there, it did what it was supposed to, and though Dax had probably meant to tease when she suggested she wear nothing at all, Kira thought she'd have probably been more comfortable naked. 

How was she supposed to enjoy herself in something so flimsy and impractical? She was just not wired to fit into places like this, holographic or not. The last thing she wanted was to ruin the night Dax had planned for them, but what did Dax expect? 

"Don't look so grumpy," Dax told her, after.

Having just spent an hour trying and failing to relax while getting a holographic massage, Kira would like nothing more than to return to her quarters and not think about holosuites ever again. "I'm not 'grumpy'," she said.

Slinging a friendly arm around Kira's shoulders, Dax let out a dramatic sigh. "I think you might be the only person I've met," she said, "who's actually more tense _after_ getting a massage than before. But, as it happens, there are few things I like more than a challenge."

"I've noticed," Kira replied. "Unfortunately, I think I'm a lost cause."

Dax turned to her, smiling. "I think I know you better than that."

There was so much optimism and faith in the way Dax looked at her. Kira was used to people relying on her for many things -- for fighting, mostly, and for keeping it together and doing what was required of her -- but there had never before been anyone so entirely determined to dig out what scraps of fantasy and childishness was hidden inside her, or so convinced that any fragment of it existed in the first place. 

Disappointing Dax was something Kira would very much like to avoid. 

Which was why, a day later, Kira ended up in the most ridiculous hat she'd ever seen.

 

5.

Leaning over to the throne next to the one she was perched on, Kira poked Dax in the arm. "Does the plot of this simulation really require me to wear this? Dax?"

Dax stared straight ahead, looking out over the crowded room with what could best be described as a regal look on her face. "Yes," she said patiently, "it does."

Kira crossed her arms. "I don't believe you."

"Well, you'll just have to play the program until the end and prove me wrong, won't you?"

Looking around, Kira just felt confused. "But what am I supposed to _do_?"

"You're Queen Guinevere and this is your court. How you play the game is up to you. Figure out who you can trust, start a war, start a love affair, have someone killed, learn magic... it's up to you. Just have _fun_."

"I told you," Kira said, lowering her voice and swallowing her pride, "I don't know how."

"Don't worry, just follow my lead." Dax jumped off her throne, reaching out her hand for Kira to grasp. Looking back at her, she smirked. "I happen to be an expert at fun."

"And who are you supposed to be here?"

"Why, King Arthur, of course! Traditionally the part calls for armor, but I happen to quite appreciate a good dress. I do have Excalibur hidden under these skirts, obviously."

"You have _who_ under your skirts?"

Dax lifted her skirt above her knees, revealing long -- _long_ \-- legs, as well as a ridiculously ornate and impractical sword sheath, exactly the kind one would expect for a sword that apparently had a name.

"Oh, and by the way, Arthur and Guinevere, they're, well, married." Dax gave Kira a bright smile. "Come on, let's start a revolution."

 

6.

Over the next few weeks, Dax insisted on dragging Kira to a wide array of holosimulations.

One involved palm trees, beaches and an unfortunate infestation of sharks, and in one, Dax wore a hat that was only a little bit less ridiculous than the one she made Kira wear for the King Arthur simulation, brandishing a magnifying glass and insisting on referring to Kira as her 'dear Watson'.

A third took place on a boat, and involved Dax wearing an eye-patch and wielding yet another sword. Kira didn't fault Dax for enjoying a good simulated fight, but she had no interest in weapons herself, as anything but a means to an end. A good weapon was one that did its job, and she knew far too well how use far too many different kinds. Once, it might have made her angry, she realized, to watch someone like Dax play with a sword, but time had smoothed those edges. 

Another simulation was a city made of ice, and even through layers and layers of furry coats, it was _freezing_. "Why would anyone build a city out of ice?" she asked, teeth clattering. "I'll never be warm again."

"Don't worry, I made sure the program was set to the correct temperatures. I know how concerned you are with _authenticity_." Dax reached into her coat, retrieving a hip flask. "But if it's bothering you, I have a cure."

"What is it?"

"Oh, just some Aldebaran whiskey to keep us warm."

Dax took a swig from the flash, before handing it over to Kira. Putting her lips to the top of the flask, Kira could feel the trace of warmth from Dax's mouth. 

The whiskey burned on the way down, and Kira ended up coughing, pushing the flask back into Dax's hands. Warming her stomach, the drink was making her head woozy and her feet unsteady on the icy, packed snow.

Throwing an arm around her, Dax put her cold nose against Kira's ear, whispering, "Better, Nerys?"

Her name was said so quietly Kira felt the warm exhale of Dax's breath more than she heard it. Cheeks flushing, whiskey heating her chest, Kira leaned in closer. "Yes," she said, stumbling, "much."

(The next day, in Ops, she had to fight the urge to kick the computer for being so terribly, _painfully_ bright.)

 

7.

Everything came to an abrupt end when Lenara Kahn walked onto the station, and after she left, Kira gave Dax a wide berth. Grief, as far as Kira was concerned, was a private thing, and though Dax had no Prophets to find solace with, it wasn't Kira's business to intrude.

Dax didn't talk about it, and she kept her feelings where not even Kira could see them. She soon returned to her usual routine; work and Quark's, teasing Commander Worf and Doctor Bashir, and spending long evenings talking with Sisko. Though she kept up with their usual raktajino at the Replimat, there was something a little somber about her, and the holosuite adventures seemed to have come to a permanent end. 

Kira did not expect to miss them. By all accounts, she should be relieved. After all, she'd only agreed in the first place for Dax's sake -- Kira still believed it was a waste of time. No matter how authentic some things may feel, it was all still holographic. 

It was just -- suddenly she seemed to have an awful lot of free time. She spent some time organizing and reorganizing her files for work, polishing the shrine in her quarters, and one horrible evening, Doctor Bashir, entirely out of pity, asked her to join him and Chief O'Brien at Quark's for a game of darts, and she actually agreed.

It was not a high point in her life. 

Clearly, Kira thought, there was something seriously wrong with her, if she was going around missing something she didn't even particularly like in the first place.

 

8.

"Is this some sort of trick?" Quark gave her a deeply suspicious look. "Did Odo put you up to something?"

Crossing her arms, Kira glared back. "Why would you think that? Do you have something to hide?"

"Major, are you asking me to believe that you want to book holosuite time? For yourself?"

"Why is that so surprising?"

"I just thought your idea of fun was more along the lines of, I don't know -- yelling at people and talking very loudly about Bajor?"

"Do you want my money or not?"

Of course he did. And when she told him what kind of simulation she wanted, he was very happy to oblige -- a little too happy, perhaps. "Only the very _best_ for Dax," he said with a smile, and Kira tried not to think too hard about where trusting Quark usually got people.

 

9.

The setting of the simulation was beautiful; even Kira had to admit that. High cliffs reached towards a deep blue sky, and below the grassy hill where she was standing, waves were crashing against sand and rocks.

She wasn't nervous.

Impatient, perhaps, she conceded, as she started to pace back and forth, but that was another thing entirely. If she was fidgeting, it was only because of the pompous outfit she was wearing, one that was pinching her skin and digging into every joint. 

When Dax finally burst into the holosuite, out of breath, Kira almost dropped the two bulky blades she was holding.

"Don't say anything," Dax said, "I know I'm late, and I'm really sorry, but have you any idea how much damage an Arcturian dog-bird can do in a cargo bay full of groatcake? We had to--"

Dax abruptly stopped speaking, mouth falling open as she stared at Kira. 

If nothing else, shocking Dax into silence was an experience she was very happy to have. "Bat'leth?" Kira offered, holding up one of the two Klingon weapons in her hands.

"You're wearing Klingon clothes," Dax said, looking rather stupefied. 

"They're very uncomfortable," Kira replied, heat creeping up her neck. "You seemed like you needed cheering up, and we haven't done -- _this_ in awhile, and I know you like... swords."

Kira waved the two bat'leths around uselessly, wishing Dax would just take one of them already, because the only thing more ridiculous than standing around holding a Klingon blade one didn't know how to use, was standing around holding _two_ of them.

Dax blinked. "This is... for me?"

"Trust me, my interest in Klingon things begins and ends with -- actually, it doesn't begin anywhere."

Closing the distance between them, Dax finally took one of the bat'leths from Kira, swinging it absentmindedly with more grace than such a clumsy weapon should allow. "What simulation is this?"

"Kahless and Lukara below the Cliffs of Death." Gripping the bat'leth tighter, Kira took a deep, strengthening breath. "Computer, play simulation."

Dax, next to her, froze in her spot. "What did you say?"

"Quark recommended it. If you ask me, the 'Cliffs of Death' sound like something I'd try to avoid, but he said it was something you were bound to enjoy."

The first round of holographic Klingons rushed against them. Kira had set the difficulty as low as it would go, but the bat'leth was almost as tall as she was, and it felt somewhat like _it_ was wielding _her_ and not the other way around. At this point, she was fairly certain she'd do a better job with just her bare hands.

"Do you know what program this is?" Dax asked, swinging her bat'leth effortlessly.

"Of course," Kira said, wincing as she almost dislocated her own shoulder while attempting to hit the hologram in front of her. "It's one with Klingons and swords."

"Kira," Dax said urgently, holding her bat'leth with one hand and grabbing Kira's arm with the other. " _Nerys_. This program is for, well... It's a reenactment of a famous Klingon romance, and if you play it right, let's just say it has a _very_ happy ending."

Kira stopped dead in her tracks, whipping her head around to stare at Dax. "What?"

Dax did not get the chance to answer before a giant holographic Klingon stepped up next to Kira, and the next thing she knew, she was on her back in the sandy grass, head spinning fiercely.

"Computer, pause simulation," Dax said, crouching down next to Kira. 

Kira remained on her back, looking up at the blue, holographic sky. "I am going to kill Quark," she said. "I mean it this time."

Reaching a hand up to Kira's face, Dax smoothed hair away from her forehead, where Kira could already feel a bump forming. Apparently, holosuite safeties were useless for bruises.

"Are you all right?" Dax asked, giving her a concerned look that would have been more convincing had she not also been so obviously trying not to laugh.

A cloud sailed by Dax's head, and Kira chose to focus on that instead of her face. "Somewhat mortified," she mumbled in reply.

Dax laughed. "Don't be," she said. "It's kind of funny."

Kira was pretty sure that was the very last thing it was. "I just propositioned you in Klingon," she pointed out.

Dax regarded her, laughter calming and settling into a smirk. "Yes, I quite enjoyed it," she said, and Kira ended up staring stupidly back at her.

"Are you making fun of me?" she finally asked.

"Not at all. You look positively dashing in that outfit."

Kira sat up, giving Dax a hard look. "Now I _know_ you're making fun of me."

"Absolutely not. I've always had a soft spot for Klingons."

Taking a deep breath, Kira made a decision. "What about Bajorans?"

Leaning in close, Dax's smirk turned quite cheeky. "Only ones with terrorist pasts and too much stubbornness for their own good."

"Actually," Kira said, trying to catch her breath, "I think that describes most Bajorans."

 

10\. 

"Tomorrow's my birthday."

"No, it's not."

"Well, it's _Audrid_ 's birthday."

The problem with spending time with Dax was actually _three_ fold: 1) Dax had a planet-sized stubborn streak, 2) she had an unfortunate ability to make things seem far more tempting than they had any right to be, and 3) both of those things had a tendency to combine into something quite irresistible when she took off her clothes.


End file.
